Or How To Properly Anticipate The Unexpected Even When Your Subconscience Already Knows That The Unexpected That You Are Expecting Will Surely Be The Other Thing That You May Or May Not Have Already Pondered Was Going To Happen But Weren’t Confident Enough To Expect It Taking Place. ..Or An NFL Lesson on Quantum Theory
Fans, experts, NFL aficionados, and even disciples of Rich Kotite I greet you a warm hello. I am writing to tell you of a coming attraction on this God-forsaken NFL blog. This, essentially, is a preview of the coming attraction. Even if the coming attraction is actually another preview. That’s is two degrees of previews separated from the actual, official, regular fo’ real fo’ real NFL season (8-D). As training camp rages (ok, maybe labors is the better word) on, rosters are cut down and meaningless preseason games will give fans false hope and false alarm alike. The real deal does not start until September. My NFL preview will periodically forecast and project teams and their fortunes for the 2014 season. Unlike the NBA, this is incredibly hard to do. The only two things to expect every year in the NFL are: 1) Philip Rivers will be expecting yet another little bundle of joy with his now seven-time wife of the year. And: 2) Philip Rivers will not name his child Marty. Or Quiznatodd.
Yes, it is almost impossible to predict what will happen in the NFL from a team by team basis. Yet hundreds of websites, shows, magazines, and bloggers like yours dishonestly try to decipher the code to properly predicting how each team will do. Year in and year out, experts are left scratching their head at a few seemingly inexplicable events: “How the hell did the Eagles make the playoffs? Why did Houston end the season on a 14 game losing streak? Did Brandon Weeden just backhand flip that pass right to that Lions player?!?” I will attempt to use historical patterns and roster breakdowns to analyze each team to unmask all of the surprises that will surely surface in the NFL this year. This will make your NFL viewing experience a little less surprising (and possibly win bets to earn you a little extra cash or bragging rights. 😉
So in the coming days, I will be creating my preview pages. Each segment will have my previews and predictions on a division by division basis. My first page will be of the NFC (L)East. The next will be of the NFC North and so on. My previews will be culminated by the ever popular to this region AFC North. Each preview of a team will have the team’s projected record. My last article will show the readers my predicted standings with my projected playoff bracket and eventual super bowl participants. I am extremely confident that I will do better in the AFC this year in terms of picking a Super Bowl team. After all, last year I picked the Texans to win the AFC last year (Super Sad Face).
So That’s about it.
Motivational phrase that every average person says. (Insert stupid instagram bro cliché here).