Why the Redskins will win the Super Bowl

The Washington Redskins have everything a team could want when looking for a Super Bowl contender. The most important thing a winning team needs is a winning quarterback who can put up good stats. And Redskins have just that in Colt McCoy. If you take Colt McCoy’s per attempt numbers and put them over the course of season Colt McCoy stats make him look like the MVP contender he is. If he started all 16 games he was on pace for 4518 yards 17 passing touchdowns only 12 picks 5 rushing touchdowns and an NFL best 71.1 completion (record) percentage. Now it’s one thing if you’re quarterback puts up stats but loses but a player a whole new kind of special if he can put W’s in the standings. Colt McCoy is proven winner as shown by his college career. McCoy is the winningest quarterback in NCAA history (Kellen Moore went to Boise State so he doesn’t count.) Plus last season he accounted for half the teams wins despite only starting a quarter of the team’s games. If my math is correct, Colt McCoy would have won 32 games if he played in all 16.  Colt McCoy has proven to be an elite player and a winner and will spearhead this team to a Super Bowl.
Even a great quarterback like Colt McCoy can’t win a Super Bowl by himself so it’s very convenient that McCoy has some amazing offensive weapons and an improved offensive line. Alfred Morris is in line to have a great season with Colt McCoy demanding defense’s attention. And he’s bound improve his efficiency because the Redskins drafted the best lineman in the draft Brandon Schreff. Brandon Schreff will join Trent Williams to form one of the best tackle duos in the NFL. In the middle the team is led by former BGSU Falcon (and first NFL player I got an autograph from) and two subpar guards who don’t matter because they can just run around them. McCoy will also have a lot of receiving weapons like the electric DeSean Jackson, the consistent Pierre Garcon, and the former Florida Tight End who didn’t kill anybody, Jordan Reed.  This dynamic offense should be a threat to score 40 or more points every single game.

Defensively the Redskins have lots of quality players. They have a sturdy defensive line led by free agent pickup Terrance “Pot Roast” Knighton and the strongest player in the NFL Stephen Paea. These two along with Ricky Jean Francois, Jason Hatcher and Chris Baker will make sure teams will have trouble running the ball. I expect teams to average negative rushing yards a game due this stout group. The Reskins have loads of pass rushers at linebacker in Ryan Kerrigan, Trent Murphy, and rookie Preston Smith to go along with inside linebackers Riley Perry Jr. and Keenan Robinson. The secondary sucks though. Deangelo Hall has less working ankles than a snake, David Amerson sucks, and everyone else is a mediocre at best. This is a genius strategy by the Redskins. Deliberately setting one position as a weakness will make opponents think they have a chance and sleep on this team. But no, once they come in cocky the other good players on the team will destroy them. Plus, they say they secondary is the defenses last line of defense, but you don’t need a last line of defense when you’re first two lines of defense are the best in the world. I mean the Redskins secondary matters so little they could just sit down and drink coffee during plays and the team’s defense will still dominate.

Final Prediction: 19-0. The Redskins offense explodes and averages 60 points a game. The defense will allow a lot of points because Roger Goodell will force the Redskin’s to only play 9 guys on defense just to give to opponents a chance, even though it won’t work. Colt McCoy wins the MVP after throwing for 5000 yards and 40 touchdowns. This team will go down as one of the greatest teams of all time.

This piece of satire was written because I lost a bet with my buddy Trevor on who would win the first preseason game between my Browns and his Redskins.

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