The Pro Bowl Football game sucks and everyone knows it. The players are out on the field are playing slow so they won’t get hurt and it’s just not fun to watch. Plus stars like Peyton Manning often sit out the game to nurse minor injuries. So instead of playing a football game no one wants to play lets look at some other fun activities our lovely NFL Pro Bowlers can take part of.
Karaoke Night: It will be a fun karaoke performance where our favorite stars will sing their favorite song. Ben Roethlisberger will perform the slightly misogynistic “Blurred Lines,” followed by Riley Cooper rapping his favorite NWA song, finished with a stirring rendition of “Young, Wild, and Free” by Johnny Manziel and Josh Gordon.
Kickball game: It’d be cool because the kickers would be among the first taken in the draft, plus it’d be nice to see what Odell Beckham would do out in centerfield.
The JJ Watt Oklahoma Drill challenge: Make everyone do an Oklahoma drill against Watt, including the punters! I anticipate this to be as brutal as a Mortal Kombat fatality.
A passionate political debate: So we can hear Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger intelligently discuss what actions are best to take in regards to ISIS (because we all know now Tom Brady likes talking about ISIS). Or Antonio Cromartie and Philip Rivers discuss the women’s right to an abortion. No chance for an NFL PR disaster here, Deadspin I’m sure you’re disappointed.
Beer Pong tournament: I want to see Andrew Luck drunk. That alone would make it worth it. Plus it’d be funny to watch the team of Andy Dalton and Tony Romo never hit the final cup. Plus afterwards everyone can play the dizzy bat game for loads of laughs. And it appears Rob Gronkowski has already brought a keg! Thanks Gronk!
HELL IN A CELL! A feud 14 years in the making, between the bitterest of rivals, will finally be settled at the Pro Bowl pay per view event! PEYTON MANNING! TOM BRADY! NO RULES! INSIDE THE MONSTER KNOWN AS: THE HELL IN THE CELL!!! Come on guys you know you’d watch this, plus we have Jim and John Harbaugh in a Tables Ladders and Chairs match and Luke Kuechly vs JJ Watt in a last man standing match. (If you thought Roman Reigns/Goldberg’s Spear was strong wait til you this.)